诞生日

One more year down, one more notch on the knife, but who's keeping score? Almost to the next milestone of 25 now.

It's depressingly familiar.

And once again, I am at a loss of what to ask for my birthday. It's not that I don't have anything in mind that I want - wait, that's probably it. I don't really want for much.

That doesn't mean that I'm easily satisfied.

Hell no, I'm not satisfied with my life at all.

I guess I've gotten used to being unsatisfied.

It's like the closest thing to a constant companion that I have. =\

Okay, that sounded pretty sad. Rewind.

Results came back, and apparently my CAP refused to budge a milimetre. Still stuck at the barely-above-second-lower-honors mark, which compounds a difficulty in deciding if I should go ahead and try for honors. I was sure that I would die horrendously this semester and thus, not even be given the choice. Hence, it came as rather a surprise and an unexpected new question I have to agonize over.

Graduate? Y/N. That is the Question.

And I probably won't be doing an FYP or graduate thesis if I really do choose to go on. I hate statistics. With a core burning passion.

This holiday season has been rather slow moving. Aside from the 2 weeks I spent in the army, I haven't really been doing much aside from eating, sleeping, and for the past few couple of days, being generally useless in the Sets construction area for Sheares Production. Lots of niggling problems cropping up that I don't really know how to solve, but I'm trying.

Managed to catch Avatar (3D!) and Sherlock Holmes, both well worth the money spent. Avatar because of pretty pretty glowy trees and Sherlock Holmes because it was basically House +badass +explosions +awesome +FTW.

Also managed to meet up with Jeremy, Si Xiao Jie and Zhi for lunch at Ishimura (which is really budget and good, btw.). Been a long time since we caught up (esp. Si Xiao Jie), and Zhi's dancing in the 2010 countdown celebration thingy on Mediacorp, how cool is that? o_O

In summary: My friends and other people around me lead such interesting lives. MLIA.

Look, even other people's MLIA are fundamentally awesome!

some post-reservist thoughts

In the army, you sort of learn that no matter what you do, there's always going to be people out there who have it easier than you, who are luckier than you, who seem to have everything planned out.

Of course, this isn't an exclusive happenstance. Everyone around you is already living a far more exciting life than you are. Poor you.

But put 30 people of around the same age group into the same room with virtually nothing to do except talk about their lives to pass the time, and suddenly everybody has a story.

Makes you feel kind of scared to grow up.

Because, what if you don't measure up?

Rethinking plans for honors. Going to wait for the 22nd to make a final decision. Lock it in.

If my life were a series of regrets (which it isn't), this might be the biggest one yet (which it hasn't).

Also, having just returned, I have a backlog of stuff to clear up. May not be very free of late. Tralala.

Also, recording for posterity here: I am officially 3 degrees of separation from SNSD's Tiffany. My platoon-mate's half-korean girlfriend is her childhood playmate from the USA. What a small world! On that note, this puts me at 4 degrees of separation from SNSD's Jessica.

Life is wonderful.

But other then that, it is stultifyingly boring.

it don't make much sense

Funny how I can get an A for an essay dealing with romance and be absolutely clueless about it. True, well, that essay was really more about how modern society mediates romance with technology, but it's still fundamentally about people who less than three.

Either I have a deep-seated internal knowledge about this, or I'm just really good at crapping about this. Betting on the latter.

I know part of the problem lies in my pathological shyness. Koothrappali from the Big Bang Theory comes to mind.

Basically me, except alcohol just makes me sleepy.

I completely clam up when there's an attractive woman within a five-feet radius. It's really subtle, but I can pretty much feel my neural cognitive functions shut down. I subconsciously make less eye-contact, talk less, and stammer/stutter more.

Did I ever recount that anecdote where I messed up totally (read: very badly) with one of my eyecandies? I mean, I know I have talked about it before, but never really recorded it for posterity on blogger.

Ah well, that's another story for another day.

Why am I bringing this up again? Because, well, it's my last semester in university, and I have a creeping feeling that I'm going to die alone, childless and friendless*.

*Disclaimer: Dear friends, this is just a figure of speech, I am not discounting your friendships. You know what I mean.

I could get a kitten, but that's just avoiding the issue.

Somehow though, I have a feeling that it's really more of the way that I've been approaching human relationships in general. I think I don't make friends easily, which is totally a problem for someone who completely -needs- people to be around him in general.

You kinda get used to being alone when you spend that much time on your own. You get tired of trying. It becomes routine. Go for class, get food, be on your own. Pretend it's okay to always be by yourself. Pretend you don't need anyone and that you're completely independent.

That's basically how it is, it becomes second-nature to pretend to be something you're not.

Convince yourself that this is how you deal with it. Mindf*ck yourself.

But somehow along the way, you always doubt. That's where I am now. Doubting. But I think it's a good thing to reconsider my life now.

I'm doubting myself again, whether this is really how I want to live my life for the next twenty or so years before I get run over by a car. Or something. Depressingly alone, addicted to routine, completely and thoroughly bored with life.

They always say, people try to fill that void in their lives with something. Work. Family. Religion. Soap Operas.

What's missing from my life?

Whatever it is, I'm getting tired of waiting around for it to appear.

WHERE ARE YOU, MY DESTINY?

(Translation: I am tired of being single.)

Coming up after the break, I will be consigned to Jurong Camp for the next 2 weeks. No updates till I get back. Bye bye world.

owari

It has been, 3 days, 21hours, 17minutes and 58 seconds since I ended my year 3 semester 1 exams. Clapclap, oh joy.

There are only 2 days, 23hours, 12minutes and 2 seconds before I enter Jurong Camp for the two most interesting (not) weeks of my life. Clapclap, oh joy.

It's amazing how much work I have left to do/allocate/delegate before I get to go gallivanting off for a vacation which I most certainly do not want to go for, and I can only imagine how much stupid work I will have when I get back. Clapclap, oh joy.

Sigh, what am I doing with my life? (That was rhetorical.)

It's really quite amazing, for someone who uses Web2.0 and social-networking websites as much as I do, how much (or rather how little) of a social life I actually have. Between the end of the examinations and now I've only gone out once, and that was a failed trip to the Singapore Flyer with Shawn, CS and Mich, where pretty much everyone was late.

Well at least we had Tom's Palette and some pretty interesting conversation.

But that's about it. My Life is Average.

And today's average word of the day is: moo.

Between now and examination's end, I have been pretty unproductive, and I say, not unproductive enough, dammit. I had no idea being a 宅男 was this hard.

I guess it's my lack of a real attention span that keeps me from being glued to something for 18hours straight, not including meals and sleep. Fail.

There's barely 2 days of unproductivity left, and I still have to pack up my shit for army, settle hall stuff (deity-damn it) and blah. It's giving me an irritation just thinking about it.

But hokay, enough about my pedestrian lifestyle. Go back to your interesting lives, people. (swallows bitter pills)

module planning!

Exams are over! I have scarcely 5 or 6 days to go before I am whisked to the magical forests of Singapore where I will spend a week without access to basic human amenities and the preceeding week doing absolutely nothing of value inside a military camp. What fun!

I have also started to think about what modules I would want to take next sem. What fun!

If all goes well: (Bold denotes more or less confirmed modules)

2 Psych Modules Left:

PL3239 - Industrial and Organisational Psychology

PL3244 - Adolescent Psychology

or

PL3255 - Introduction to Paediatric Psychology

1 Lit Module Left:

EN3224 - The Twentieth Century

or

EN3231 - American Literature I

Breadth:

IT1001 - Introduction to Computing

1 UE/GEM

GEK1508 - Einstein's Universe & Quantum Weirdness

or

GEK1520 - Understanding the Universe

or

GEK1519 - Science of Music

Graduation is in sight. Mhmm. What fun. Sigh.

Oh, guess what degree I have?

i've got the sniffles, mommy

I know I'm supposed to be sick... But...

(I'll just let the pictures do the talking for now, I'll come back and write a paragraph or so of stuff under the respective pictures when I take a break from mugging and being sick.)


Having this installed and patched on my hard drive was just way way way too -tempting-...


Server Mycenae! Come join me please please.


Character Creation! It took me all of one look to -instantly- spot my future character class.


ROCKSTAR POWER, YEAH!

The somewhat clunky interface, not used to the drop down menus and shortcut keys. But hey, it's free.

Combat! OMG, I love it! FF Style! Except for a turn time limit.


End of the tutorial area. I chose Harbin as a starting town.

Aaand, here's my freshly made character! Waiting for post-exams!

Atlantica Online

Anyone? I am so in.

a few steps away from perdition

I less than three my netbook very very much. It's such an... enabler. I feel so much free-er with it than ever. Studying outside the confines of my room, being able to make use of the NUS facilities that I'm paying too much of my school fees for. Heck, even being able to watch episodes of Big Bang Theory on the painful 1.5h bus ride home makes the $600 price tag seem oh-so-worthwhile.

It also runs games. Hell, if you check the Games list that I've been finishing up, you'll pretty much see that everything I've completed has been on my netbook so far. Granted, most of everything there are small adventure games which each take on average 2-3hours a piece to complete (not that they aren't fun, most of them are awesome), but still! It runs Gyromancer too, which just came out a few days ago - and it's all kinds of awesome fun.

I like the keyboard. It's got big, comfortable keys which are surprisingly easy to touch-type with. Doesn't feel cramped at all. I could play The Typing of the Dead comfortably with this.

And I just love the battery life. 6hours on a full charge for such a light, tiny little thing (of course, without wireless, which cuts it to 4h). I almost could do without lugging a charger around.

Best economic decision I've ever made on the spur of the moment, bar none. Yay for impulse buys and a twitchy click-to-buy finger.

♥Netbook.

Of course, I'm not necessarily saying that my poor 4-year old computer is useless though. The 22" still gives me real estate when I need it to, and HD stuff is an absolute joy to behold on it (HD SNSD is = boomz in pantz.) Not to mention I'm pretty much going to finish Torchlight soon on it. It really just needs a good clean-up, which will come hopefully after I finish my reservist (oh what a pain).

And I've already bought (seriously bought, not pirated) Windows7 for it, so I really have no excuse not to clean it up, sort out my hard disks, make a few backups and upgrade to Windows7.

Hmm. Exams are here. First paper in 2 days. I feel strangely zen. It's as if I already know I'm doomed, and I'm (rather) calmly accepting it.

Ah well, I need to break out of this, and I know just what to do.

Do not go gently into the good night.

Not sure who said the above. Dylan Thomas? Who was he? Poet, writer, and etc. It means "fight to the death". Or in this case...

In this case, it means awesome!

3!

2!

1!

ARE YOU READY?

HEAVEN OR HELL!

ROUND ONE!

FIGHT!

Although, you know, for Trauma -

Pictured:

Top - Social Cognition.

Middle - Developmental Psychology.

Bottom - Trauma Psychology.

I never really got good at fighting games.

(I tend to mash.)

mabinogi (it's fantastic!)

Truly, there is nothing in the world quite as awesome as 3 minutes and 31 seconds of pure, unadulterated Tiffany cuteness.

Well, except maybe watching the HD-version full-screen on netbook during a study break.


Tiffany thinks you should be studying!

AWW. FANY FANY HWAITING! BRIGHTER THAN MUSHROOMS!

stream of consciousness

I feel like buying a kitten.

Big Bang Theory fans/watchers, there's an inside joke in that line.

In other news, there's less then 4 days left to my first paper PL3238 Social Cognition, and I am (as usual, well and truly screwed.)

Random thoughts follow:

I love my netbook. I get so much more done on it then my desktop.

I owe people money, people owe me money. Cycle never stops.

Graduation feels like it's coming soon. Moo.

Big Bang Theory rocks.

Oh, Left For Dead 2 is out. One more thing to add to the backburner.

SNSD Hello Baby Episode 7! Now to wait for Episode 8 and I have something new to watch.

I want to make a scrapbook.

I need more $$$. Any way I can do work while still studying?

But not tuition, I don't think I can teach very well.

On that note, I really need to wake up my idea next semester.

I know, I've been saying that for the last five. But meh.

My musical taste really is at least five years old

I made a highlights video for voxsports in less then 12 hours. Go me.

I like the word "myxomatosis."

Maybe I should go for career counselling.

A NEW CHALLENGER HAS APPEARED!!!

C-C-C-COMBO BREAAKERR!!!

Sica is so cute.

Ah.

on the cusp of something

Well, a whole lot of crap came down this week, with a 50% essay and a 70% group report coming to mind. But now that those are over and done with, I rewarded myself by sitting down to watch the entire Season 1 of Big Bang Theory in one sitting!

And woots. That's done. I'm proud of myself! I actually overcame my short attention span for once! History books, folks.

95% cause of short-attention spans worldwide.

Not to say working on the group project wasn't fun. In some strange, twisted sort of way, that is. There was a fair bit of blasting SNSD and other general sleep-deprived craziness, which helped, I guess. Might have been the best project group I've ever had. Ah well, thanks guys.

In other news, I got a Google Wave invite, and playing around with it is fairly fun, although I can't really see how I can utilise it to its full potential, I mean, for my own use..

Examinations loom. Gloom doom doom.

Got a quiz next week. 20%. Gonna have to webcast and revise for the final exam through that quiz. Maybe start tomorrow. Blargh.

So, back to my rather unexciting life then.

Dear readers - wait, I have readers right? Just checking. "Hey guys, what do you want me to write about?" I'm not really going to do another jdentification installment because it takes me really long to compose replies and wait for questions, so, any general thing you want to hear from me?

*the sound of one hand clapping*

Hmm. Thought so. Ah well.

*emo one corner*

Here is kitteh! I... I lost it again. What was I talking about?

Graduation

It's been some time since I've blogged, but don't worry, absolutely nothing interesting has happened. So, there's just been alot of whining about my Lit essay due monday that I'm going to die for, as well as a Voluntary Corps event which, surprisingly went quite well.

And sleep, alot of sleep, unnecessary and evil which is going to cost me dearly.

After talking to Wilk on the bus after VC event I'm seriously considering not going on to do my honors. Aside from the fact that I'm really treading precariously on the verge of not being able to do a second-lower anyway, I realised that the only real reason for me to do another year is to get a shot at doing a Masters. And what the heck, a Masters in Psychology? What am I going to end up doing, research?

I srsly, do not see myself writing a thesis paper for my year four, or even for a Masters that will lead me to a Doctorate. There's just no conceivable way that I could commit myself to all those statistics. I've been hanging on to sanity so far because everytime there's stats involved, with all those t-tests, one-tailed or two-tailed whatnots, or dear (deity of choice) ANOVA, there's been helpful group members who are far more proficient at this then I to rely on. Srsly.

Individual thesis? OMGno thanks.

So am I going to graduate next year? I don't know. Sigh. Should I? Economy's so irritatingly difficult now, plus I'm really not sure what I can do with this degree of mine, plus I don't really know what I really want to do anyway.

So true, ya?

Decisions decisions. So hard to make. Help help I need some advice. Anyone? WOULD YOU KINDRY?

EDIT@2320h - Looking at an old blog of mine, I found this:

"I feel like a child beneath a curtain of stars, with no one to guide me. Yet even as I sweep my bewildered childlike gaze across the dreamy pinpoints of light, I recognise and I know that each star has it's own place in time, location and destiny. Time marches on without regard for us all and before we know it, we will die, leaving our children to live our lives again vicariously. They will relieve our memories, our fates in their so many years later. Our simple lives are chains of pre-connected events, linked together by a fabric of choices which we make. Of course then, our choices are therefore the most integral part of our lives, being that we are most affected by these self-same choices we make, and this is also why we spend the greater part of our lives agonizing over them. I hope with only sincere intentions, that everyone I know would be able to paint the picture of a serene glade within their heart, and I hope that all their troubles would soon end."

WHAT. I COULD WRITE LIKE THIS IN SECONDARY SCHOOL. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY VOCABULARY.

SHOWDOWN OF THE FATES

BECAUSE THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.

*highlander theme plays*

And for no reason... let's do it... MAGIC THE GATHERING STYLE!

*music abruptly dies*

SNSD Jessica aka Sica
Birth name: Jessica Jung (제시카 정)
Korean name: Jung Soo-Yeon (정수연)
Date of birth: April 18, 1989
Position: Lead Vocalist

VERSUS

SNSD Tiffany aka Fany
Birth name: Stephanie Hwang
Korean name: Hwang Mi-Young (황미영)
Date of birth: August 1, 1989
Position: Vocalist



Ba-da-dum!

Oh wow, the sheer number of inside jokes and info that makes this post incomprehensible to the average reader is killing me. Lollercoaster!

P.S.: Yes, yes I know, Sica is imba. =/

SNSD IDENTIFICATION CHART (GENIE EDITION)

As an addenum to my previous SNSD Identification Chart, this post is made for people like Jeremy, Shawn and CS (as well as everyone else of you out there) who -still- utterly can't tell them apart.



As usual, the proclamation, YOONA IS OVERRATED. TIFFANY AND JESSICA <3! BRIGHTER THAN MUSHROOMS FOREVER!

Oh, here's the reference MV (Genie). Personally, I don't like the song, but well, Sica and Fany look particularly deadset gorgeous in this MV, so, what the hey, I'm biased.



Right, sleeping time!

WindGaming Part I: The Castle of Dr. Brain

Remember a while back on Twitter and Facebook I mentioned that I was doing alot more gaming on my little Wind then on the behemoth of my desktop? Well, this is really true to a large extent because aside from minor 5 minute distractions (read: flashgames), I've been investing a bit of the slack times I have on games that, you see, normal people wouldn't be playing in this day and age nowadays.

A fair bit of what I have been playing are classics, truly pre-modern-era games that are no less entertaining today then when they were released some 10 odd years ago? Case in point, the first thing that I've finished, a little-known Sierra On-Line gem released in 1991, The Castle of Dr. Brain.

It stretches to 640x480 in DosBox, and really doesn't look too bad with 2xsai interpolation.

In this little puzzler gem, you pretty much play as a student who's attempting to audition for the job of a mad scientist's lab assistant (the afore-mentioned Dr. Brain), but to do this, you have to go through a castle filled with a whole series of tasks and puzzles, ranging from logic and memory puzzles to word games to magic squares to simple programming to astronomy puzzles.

A cipher puzzle. Can you decode it?

Some of the puzzles are rather easy, but there are also some that would seriously stretch your brain to the maximum, even for adults. Don't automatically reach for a walkthrough or go for Google for some of the general knowledge questions and it'll be even more challenging. The writing is also fairly clever with lame jokes and typical Sierra humour abounding (try examining every object). For a decent challenge though, play on Expert difficulty.

The Astronomy Room. How good are you at finding constellations?

Now, with all that in mind, on to the bad points. It doesn't take more then a few hours to burn through this game, even on Expert difficulty. At least with the assumption that most of my readers are intelligent and suave individuals like myself. Also, the puzzles aren't randomized, i.e. they don't change between plays, so there's really not much replay value once you've completed the game once.

A simple programming puzzle in the Robot Room.

Still, it's really quite an enjoyable puzzle game for the small amount of time spent. It runs smooth as butter on the MSI Wind using the DosBox emulator. Plus, you'll feel smart just for beating it, so what's the harm in that? =D

shiny happy people!

In line with my newly gleaned optimistic attitude towards life (really!), filled with candy canes and marshmallows, rainbows and butterflies, weddings and happy endings, shiny happy people riding colorful unicorns into exploding firework sunsets!

Right, if you're done retching at all that saccharine positivity... GivesMeHope is a website that follows in F***MyLife's tradition, offering single shots of positivity in a world of negative affect and broken dreams.

I saw a bunch of letters on my father's desk today, birthday letters. They were from all from 3rd grade class telling him how great he is and many thank yous, also that they wanted to make him a birthday cake and that he is a great man for helping them out so much. He's the Janitor. Their thankfulness GMH.

Oh, d'aww.

Give it a browse through if you, too, are tired of hearing about what's wrong in this world.

As an aside, here's an update on the Boomz saga. MARKETING. Shirts! Mugs! Dear (deity of choice), I'd love to get a mug with an iBoomz message on it.

That's right, ladies, iBoomz.
Or as CS says, "I just Boomz in my pants."

Did you notice that the link says: "UNIQUELY Singaporean Style"? I guess Miss Ris Low really is setting the boundaries of Singaporean fashion as a prima la fashionista after all.

...
If you're not sure if that's scary, or awesome... In her immortal words... "What kind of knnbccb question is that?" Of course it's awesome!

mmhmm i like this poem

One bright day in the middle of the night
Two dead boys got up to fight
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other

One was blind and the other couldn't see
So they chose a dummy for their referee
A blind man went to see fair play
A dumb man went to shout hooray

A paralysed cripple passing by
Kicked the blind boys in the eye
Knocked them through a nine inch wall
Into a dry ditch and wet them all

A deaf policeman heard the noise
And came to arrest the two dead boys
If you don't believe this story is true
Ask the blind man, he saw it too

-Unknown Author

Ai no Mukidashi

"Sensational indie filmmaker Sion Sono returns to JAPAN CUTS with this much anticipated, gripping four-hour epic brimming with absurd gore, cross-dressers, sin and love triangles while exposing the contradictions within human nature.

Yu feels compelled to commit sins for his father, who has become a catholic priest and demands daily confessions from him. As a result, Yu joins a local gang and becomes a master of hentai photography. Amidst the chaos that ensues, he falls in love at first sight with Yoko, whom he later discovers will become his new step sister. With an evil religious cult leader determined to convert his family and steal his precious Yoko away, Yu must go to extreme lengths to save the love of his life."

DEAR (DEITY OF CHOICE), WHAT THE HECK. THERE ARE INDIE ARTHOUSE FILMS, AND THEN THERE ARE INDIE ARTHOUSE FILMS, BUT... SERIOUSLY... WHAT THE HECK.


Words fail me.

of beauty in artificiality

So there's alot that's been said of artificial beauty. Who's to say that natural beauty wins over the artificial? Whenever I hear people extolling the virtues of "natural, wholesome" beauties over all those "artificially modified" ones, I feel like strangulating the lot of them.

Besides the fact that beauty is really in the eye of the beholder, I don't believe that anything is really -wrong- with artificial beauty.


Hmmm... I definitely see nothing wrong.

Alright, all superficiality aside, it's my opinion that plastic surgery should really be regarded on the same level as other beauty enhancing products, such as:

1) Make-up
2) Lazik
3) Fashionable clothing
4) Photoshop

Vanity, vanity. All of the above are just applicators for vanity. They assuage your needs, boost your confidence, so "you know, there's really nothing wrong with them, boomz."

So, if you're okay with make-up, okay with Lazik, okay with fashionable clothing, there's really no excuse for you to attack plastic surgery. It's just personal choice.

Make-up is temporary, yes. Plastic surgery is permanent. So think about it this way. If this was a traditional role-playing game, which would you pick? Would you save up experience points and money and get a permanent stat gain or burn the same resources on one-use boosts that apply only for a short time and afterwards revert back to normal?

Okay fine, this is really dependant on the situation, but most prudent gamers I know would pick the permanent option. And why not? It's not just gamers that would make the same choice. Permanence is such a seductive option. It's a one-time, single investment, and it affects you for the rest of your life.

And it stacks with makeup, dear (deity of your choice). So, what the heck? Seems like a winning, no-lose proposition to me.

Of course, there's the risks, just like the risks you'll get if your Lazik surgeon is bad, if your fashion consultant is lousy and ruins your social circle, if your makeup screws up your face and wrecks your skin. There's really no more inherent risk and really, risk is not what people are complaining.

And risk if something to be judged by the person taking it. If he or she accepts the risk, why're you criticising him/her for taking a risk? No, the critique is usually about artificial beauty being an inferior form of beauty.

So, what gives you the right to judge one form of beauty over another? Did someone die and make you Emperor of what's right and wrong? Does the Power of the Internet compel you to attack another human being's choice of what he or she wants to do for him/herself?

Therefore, to those who think this way, please, never use make-up ever again or wear nice fashionable clothes. Let your NATURAL BEAUTY SHIIINE without ever accentuating it with accessories again!

But of course, I don't deny that a certain amount of moderation should be practised in plastic surgery to prevent your nose from falling off. But this applies to everything, doesn't it?


Case in point: Too much "accentuating" there.

Jeez.

More beauty in this world is never a bad thing. So what if that's, you know, to the benefit of superficial observers like me? =)

I know. I'll move to Korea. BOOMZ!

black and white and color

Amidst all the bad luck I've gotten this week, a couple of good things shine out...

1) Bio lab presentation cancelled, although we suspect that it's really because he doesn't want to sit through twenty whole 5min individual presentations about the same subject.

2) Got an A- for the "doomed" lit paper. "Doomed, doomed, DOOMED!" according to shawn. Idiot.

3) Cleared all my work for VC. Whee.

4) Meeting Lydia-dajie tomorrow with Jeremy for dinner. Been forever since we met up. Almost couldn't make it because of stupid stupid stupid SP. Rrragh.

5) I might be getting my Wind as early as this week. Mom approved it and I'm going to repay her back in instalments. Whee!

Other then that, the cynical-bitter-emo-phase has resurfaced. Been skipping alot of !exciting! and !happening! things in this place lately because I just don't feel like going. Wahaha hurhur.

[This has no bearing on my eventual aim of being a wedding planner, note. I maintain it's possible to be a wedding planner and be cynical at the same time. The trick is just to be efferverscently naive about other people's affairs and morosely cynical about yourself. =D]

And besides there's always cake at weddings. Delicious cake.


Look! Even he can't wait for delicious cake!

Be safe...

I know a place we can go where you'll fall in... love so hard that... you'll wish you were dead...

Moody. Bad dream. Stuff to do.

woo

Typing this on my sister's eeePC 4G. Hehe. It's somewhat smaller then the Wind (7" display compared to 10"), but it's quite cool. Could definitely get used to this... I'm pretty much typing at my full typing speed le, and this keyboard is already even smaller then the Wind's.

Sis trying to tell me to get a full-fledged laptop for $800, but I don't really see the point. It'll be bigger, heavier, and no point since I don't need that much power for something that I'm going to bring along to the library or lecture theatres. And it'll cost more, even. $600 vs. $800? No contest.


9, totally overrated.

Watched 9 on saturday. In short, it sucked. Well, not really, but it could have been alot more. Thing is, it was extended from a short film, so, if you take it in terms of it being a short film, it would have been magnificent. Top-notch animation, an interesting story, cool action set-pieces, character designs, all good ingredients for a short film. But this is a $6 full-length movie we are talking about here, and that is where it fails. Bland characterisation, too little plot, lots of missing gaps and plot holes and a thoroughly unsatisfying ending = recipe for disaster.

Pity, considering that it really had alot of potential. Director Shane Ackerman should invest more time on fleshing out the script next time. Technically everything that was awesome about 9, you can see in the youtube trailer. Ah well.

Been busy with lots of stupid stuff. Just finished summarizing a powerpoint for Social Cog group project. Now using the netbook to find books suitable for History of Film. I just came up with the most LOL essay title ever - "I Less Than Three You: The Romance Film in Contemporary Modern Society." Rockestest.

If you don't get it, you sug. Plz DIAF. Then read up on your mathematical notation yo.
.
..
Ohh alright, I'll explain it:


Now do you get it?

every friday is repost day

For the lack of imagination to post new things, am instead going to post old prose written dunno how many donkey years ago when I was still in a creative mood.

-

"connect"

somewhere, in a lonely corner on this lonely earth, is a girl.

sometimes, when she’s feeling down, when she’s feeling lonely, she’d pick up her cellphone and dial a number.

somehow, no one’s ever there, no one ever answers, no one cares.

and she’s alone.

.

somewhere, in her lonely corner, in her lonely world, is a feeling.

sometimes, when she reaches inwards and touches them, she'd talk into her cellphone, hoping for an answer.

somehow, there's always a silence in the answer, a coldness in the care.

and she walks alone.

.

because maybe, there isn’t really a cellphone, and that in her little fingers all she’s playing with are imaginary numbers for imaginary friends, playing imaginary conversations within her head.

because maybe, she’s quiet and shy and timid and awkward and afraid - afraid to open up, afraid of the people around her, afraid of everything that could ever be.

because maybe, she just doesn't have anyone to turn to.

and she’s still alone.

.

but what she holds in her hand, in the conversations in that imaginary cellphone - she’s assertive and forward and she’s chatty and happy and she’s everyone’s favourite person and that everything’s right.

but what she’s thinking of everyday, that someday she’ll be every bit the person that she wants to be, that someday she’ll grow up and stop having these silly dreams and fantasies and that she'll be alright, in the end, just like everybody else.

but what she hopes, she wants, she is - inside that imaginary cellphone of hers.

and she’s gotten used to being alone.

.

yet everyday, she dials… and dials… on that imaginary cell of hers.

.

and maybe
maybe one day
i’ll be able to pick up my imaginary cell

and connect

blah mood

I don't understand why I just can't connect with my block.

It's not that I don't try.

But somehow, I know I'll be happier elsewhere.



Bah, can't be bothered.

youtubes about SNSD (sorry, one track mind)

SICA EFFECT! "Do you think I'm funny?"
OMG, her english voice is horrendously cute! =DDD



FANY'S WINKS! SO CUTE!

Want to Buy: TIFFANY & JESSICA SOLO POSTERS. A1 Size, plz.
WILL PAY GRAND RANSOM FOR THEM.

Also, I have finished watching all the episodes of SNSD's Hello Baby soshisubs has subbed up till... I am officially out of SNSD shows... *withdrawal*

Obssession (Kajiura Yuki Mix)

Fandom breeds obsession! I truly believe in that. For someone with as tiny an attention span as yours truly, it is fairly difficult for me to enter into the state-of-mind known as fandom, let alone obsession. Yet, I would also argue that constant exposure is almost a necessity in maintaining attention span.

But I being bored, have only my dreams whims; I have spread my dreams whims at your feet; Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams whims.

Ahh, I love Yeats. It's so easy to bastardise that line.

It's fairly a sad day when a person needs to have discipline in entertaining himself. I tend to make that mistake a lot, in that I have a lot of things I could do if I needed entertainment, but I tend not to do them.

Watching movies, tv shows, anime are anti-social behaviors. Playing single-player games by yourself are anti-social behaviors. Do I not, want to do these because I know that they are anti-social behaviors? I do know that I would much rather watch movies and tv shows with other people, but theoretically it would make no sense to, unless you're talking about movie marathons.

I'd rather play games with other people too, being a social gamer, but no one I know plays the games that I play.

Oh well. Lost my train of thought there.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not just my lack of attention span that prevents me from having the ability to finish whatever I start, as I will often lose interest halfway and go do something else.

I tend to think of myself as always wasting time when time could be better spent elsewhere, but YET I END UP WASTING THE TIME ANYWAY doing other things halfway.

Dear (deity of choice), if only you knew how many projects I've been doing halfway. Heck, I can't even muster up the discipline to organize my computer. What the heck.


OMG, look ma! IRONY!

Oh wait, I found a train of thought again.

I have very little in common with people around me, in terms of fandom, at least. I suppose that's what makes me odd; weird; whatever, because I have so little common ground with the average ordinary hostelite. I'm one of those that fall by the wayside, cry cry emo emo NAH, got beyond that, now it's just something that I've come to terms with ya? Just abit sian that I usually can't find common ground with people.

See, because usually, when I'm a fan of something, my lack of attention span prevents me from going deep enough to qualify as an actual "fan" to those who are completely obsessed. Take SNSD (being that it's a most recent phase and I really really like to talk about it recently, yes), for example, I may have donated to the soshified forums to access the video downloads, but I don't consider myself a fan on the level of some of the forum posters there, who take part in actual discussions about the idols. See, I'm happy enough just watching a few shows here and there centred on them, and listening to a few (to be exact, FOUR) of their songs. Probably any one of the forum posters there would cry foul or blasphemy, but that's about all my mental resources I'm willing to invest into this phase.

Great, well, just great. I'm not enough of a fan to fall into that social circle of people who memorize facts about them and make youtube videos of them, yet I'm just enough of a fan to fall outside of discussion with people who don't care about SNSD at all.

This happens, alarmingly, frequently, enough to make me get sick of it. Musical artistes, movie franchises, games, dance, plays, books, places, sports, AHHH INTERESTS, in general.



MY PROBLEM IS THAT I AM INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING AND COMMITTED TO NOTHING. *brain fries*

(how am i ever supposed to get a girlfriend like this... x_x;;)

Oh how coincidental

Funny how things are so interrelated these days. Remember about a week ago, I was talking about this pretty cool beat-'em-up MMO called Dungeon Fighter Online that was awesome for being a complete throwback to old-skool fighting games...?



Well it turns out that SNSD has made commercials for it. Not ONE but TWO. (Well, at least for the Korean version of the game)

Jessica Cut (OMG OMG SICA SICA <3<3<3)


Taeyeon Cut


Like, it's just so coincidental that I'm in an SNSD phase now.

Too bad the stupid english edition of the game is region-locked to USA & Canada and ip-bans everything outside. Darn.

In other news, I've finished watching all 6 SNSD Horror Movie Factory episodes and 2 out of 4 of the Soshi-subbed SNSD Hello Baby episodes. Meaning I will soon be starved of entertainment. Quick! Somebody entertain me!

SNSD Hello Baby!

Favourite part from the show so far. Tiffany ♥!

A shocking character reveal!

Oh, I think apparently, I'm quite sadistic.

To elaborate, let me use the example of Soh Nyuh Shi Dae. Also known as SNSD, or Girls Generation, they are my current obsession.



For example, in SNSD's Horror Movie Factory series, a variety-type program where the SNSD girls are subject to various acting challenges, there's a particular segment that is fairly remniscient of what university camps like to include in their itinery: Fright Night. They are given a script, and basically have to do a night walk through a particular location in an abandoned school while acting out lines from the script they are given. Of course, just like Fright Night, there are scares implanted into the stages.

It's dead freaking hilarious.

The first episode starts off with a fake shoot where the entire 50-member crew, including a known celebrity "spirit guide" and the other 8 members of SNSD put up a sterling performance just to trick one particular member. Said member is led through a series of unfortunate events including a 'resident' of the area coming up angrily to disrupt the shoot, camera lights exploding spontaneously, hell, even ghost possession of one of the girls at one point.

It's comedy. Seriously.

The second episode has that Fright-Nightesque segment, where at one point one of the members (also my favourite - Tyrant Sica♥) produces dolphin ultrasound screams when she's scared by the 'ghosts'. It's uber funny!

Here's the thing, see, this is also why I'm a horrible human being.

JD's thought process -> Thoroughly scared individual = Thoroughly amusing = Thoroughly adorable.

Of course, let's move away from scaring people, okay? Let's choose something far more benign, but still SNSD-centric, okay? For the sake of equal comparison.



SNSD's Hello Baby series is another variety-type program where the premise here is that the girls have to take care of a baby, and the show aims to choose the best and worst moms for every episode. Well that's all well and good, assuming that they're all girls who can handle babies.

For the most part, they are... with the exception of one. Poor Tiffany (also one of my favourites ♥).

There are multiple spots during the first episode which show her being completely demoralised because she doesn't know what to do with the baby.

And being the complete monster that I am, I laughed my head off everytime.

(when talking about how Tiffany completely cannot handle children)
Hyoheon: "There was this one time, when we were talking in a cafe, a 5 year-old boy approached us. So, Tiffany (not knowing what to do) said, 'Sorry, we're talking.'"
Tiffany: "But we were talking!"
Hyoheon: "Her tone suddenly turned respectful (towards the boy)."
Tiffany: (hen sian)

Seriously, so uber funny.

And there was this part where the girls prepared gifts for the baby and the baby had to pick one person's gift, whereupon that girl would become the baby's daily mom. And everyone was like hoping that their gift would get chosen, and when the baby started stumbling in her direction she was like,

Tiffany: NO! NO WAY! (omgwtf-do-i-do-if-i-get-chosen face)

Aww.

JD's thought process -> Thoroughly helpless individual = Thoroughly amusing = Thoroughly adorable.

So apparently, I like watching people squirm. I think I'm going to hell for this.

Oh yeah, er, both shows are highly recommended! You can stream off youtube or can get the (high-quality!) ones from me if anyone wants. YES, I DONATED TO SOSHI SUBS TO GET THE HIGH QUALITY VERSIONS... BLARGH, the cost of fandom.

OMG FAT CAT

In case readers, you don't already know, I love cats! This cat is bloody fat and lazy... super nua to the max... But he's damn cute! Especially the part with the boxes... =)

Men's Brains vs. Women's Brains

Mark Gungor's "A Tale of Two Brains". This stuff is pure gold, folks. Certainly explains alot, hehe. =)

*retreats to my 'nothing' box*

Bad sign

A bad omen is when you wake up at 6:45am, having no idea of even falling asleep, your last memory a look at the handphone showing 2:07am, with your stack of readings completely untouched in front of you, your back aching because of the posture of sleeping, your eyes screaming at you that they need proper rest, and the notion stuck somewhere at the back of your mind that you have a 30% paper at 10am, and impossibly thick readings you were supposed to cover in that 5 hour mental gap you just lost.

Well, here's a great start to a day that no amount of potential eyecandy inspiration can cover up. Blargh.


Well, if it's -this- level of eyecandy... maybe it'll help. Jessica ♥!

EDIT@1.59PM: OK, after taking the test, apparently even Jessica-level eyecandy wouldn't be able to save me now. Blargh. =/

Noowwww That The Looooveeee is Gooooone

Lovin' the rockin' beat! And the part when all the characters start to get their groove on...

Fat guy at 2:03 headbanging is also made of LOL. Also, drum-crazy Grandma comes a close second in awesome-scale.

Thinking about getting a netbook.

After much contemplation and thought, I think it would be beneficial if I were to buy a netbook. Aside from freeing me up from the confines of my room when I study (meaning I can finally study in the library with other people and not by my lonesome self), having a netbooks means no more need to print lecture notes.

Hence, introducing my target: The MSI Wind U100 Plus.


*drool*

It's small, it looks gorgeous, and it has quite decent specs for a netbook (Intel® Atom N280 1.66G, 2GB DDR2 RAM, 160gb HDD). A comfortable 10" screen and a really ergonomic keyboard design also makes for a major plus point.


Big, comfortable keys. I liikke.

Apparently netbooks.com.sg is retailing it for $589, throwing on an optional slim portable DVD-RW drive for $88 brings the sum total to $677. Not -that- expensive...


Desire.

Unfortunately, I think it'll be a while before I can afford it. Darn. Any kind souls out there who want to/can afford to float me a loan? Will pay back in instalments. =D