Obssession (Kajiura Yuki Mix)

Fandom breeds obsession! I truly believe in that. For someone with as tiny an attention span as yours truly, it is fairly difficult for me to enter into the state-of-mind known as fandom, let alone obsession. Yet, I would also argue that constant exposure is almost a necessity in maintaining attention span.

But I being bored, have only my dreams whims; I have spread my dreams whims at your feet; Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams whims.

Ahh, I love Yeats. It's so easy to bastardise that line.

It's fairly a sad day when a person needs to have discipline in entertaining himself. I tend to make that mistake a lot, in that I have a lot of things I could do if I needed entertainment, but I tend not to do them.

Watching movies, tv shows, anime are anti-social behaviors. Playing single-player games by yourself are anti-social behaviors. Do I not, want to do these because I know that they are anti-social behaviors? I do know that I would much rather watch movies and tv shows with other people, but theoretically it would make no sense to, unless you're talking about movie marathons.

I'd rather play games with other people too, being a social gamer, but no one I know plays the games that I play.

Oh well. Lost my train of thought there.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's not just my lack of attention span that prevents me from having the ability to finish whatever I start, as I will often lose interest halfway and go do something else.

I tend to think of myself as always wasting time when time could be better spent elsewhere, but YET I END UP WASTING THE TIME ANYWAY doing other things halfway.

Dear (deity of choice), if only you knew how many projects I've been doing halfway. Heck, I can't even muster up the discipline to organize my computer. What the heck.


OMG, look ma! IRONY!

Oh wait, I found a train of thought again.

I have very little in common with people around me, in terms of fandom, at least. I suppose that's what makes me odd; weird; whatever, because I have so little common ground with the average ordinary hostelite. I'm one of those that fall by the wayside, cry cry emo emo NAH, got beyond that, now it's just something that I've come to terms with ya? Just abit sian that I usually can't find common ground with people.

See, because usually, when I'm a fan of something, my lack of attention span prevents me from going deep enough to qualify as an actual "fan" to those who are completely obsessed. Take SNSD (being that it's a most recent phase and I really really like to talk about it recently, yes), for example, I may have donated to the soshified forums to access the video downloads, but I don't consider myself a fan on the level of some of the forum posters there, who take part in actual discussions about the idols. See, I'm happy enough just watching a few shows here and there centred on them, and listening to a few (to be exact, FOUR) of their songs. Probably any one of the forum posters there would cry foul or blasphemy, but that's about all my mental resources I'm willing to invest into this phase.

Great, well, just great. I'm not enough of a fan to fall into that social circle of people who memorize facts about them and make youtube videos of them, yet I'm just enough of a fan to fall outside of discussion with people who don't care about SNSD at all.

This happens, alarmingly, frequently, enough to make me get sick of it. Musical artistes, movie franchises, games, dance, plays, books, places, sports, AHHH INTERESTS, in general.



MY PROBLEM IS THAT I AM INTERESTED IN EVERYTHING AND COMMITTED TO NOTHING. *brain fries*

(how am i ever supposed to get a girlfriend like this... x_x;;)