five minutes of drifting.

1.20am, working on paper, and the opening chords of Air Supply's "All out of Love" strike up on iTunes.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone

1.21am, and already I'm nostalgic.

It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring

1.22am, and I visit the old blog You had. You never told anyone about it. I never told You I knew.

And what would you say if I called on you now

1.23am, I catch a glimpse of the smiling You. Your smile. It always made me feel special, even when it didn't mean anything. And I remember it was so rare that You smiled, how cold You were! But that was exactly what caught my heart on strings, Your aloof disdain... next to Your warming smile. I always thought You were beautiful, regardless of what others may have thought. And now, yes, You have changed. But You are still the same beautiful You. Same same but different.

I can't be too late to say that...

1.24am, and I close the tab. You have a new blog now, but I don't open it. I'm not a stalker jealously following the life of a former ex. You are only an "if only", a "maybe", had I the guts to speak up, to tell You how I felt. Well -

...I was so wrong.

1.25am, I go back to my paper. And then "Maybe" by The Inkspots starts up...

Maybe

You'll think of me

When you are all alone

Maybe

The one who is waiting for you

Will prove untrue, then what will you do

Maybe

You'll sit and sigh

Wishing that I were near

Then maybe

You'll ask me to come back again

And maybe I'll say "Maybe"...

-The Ink Spots

5 letters, 2 syllables, 1 word.

My lasting 'Maybe'. That's what You are.